Apart

Breaking up; you all hope it doesn't happen to you. But unfortunately, for about one in three couples, it does.
Whether you are living together or married, when breaking up, the problems and emotions are the same. There is often disappointment and misunderstanding, especially if one of the partners has a new love involved. And in that situation, a number of important agreements must then be made.

For instance, you have to agree on who will continue to live in the house, how the care of the children will be divided, how the costs of the house and of caring for the children will be divided, the division of the car and belongings, payment of the children's expenses, etcetera.

While it is quite possible to settle all matters by mutual agreement, in many cases it is important to get further advice on the legal consequences. In many cases, notarised or private deeds will have to be drawn up to actually settle things.

Many people cannot and do not want to make all the decisions referred to above on their own and enlist the help of an expert.
Of course, you can each have your own lawyer, but if you are still on speaking terms, it is advisable to go to a mediator together.
After all, looking for solutions together is a better basis for the future than each trying to make the best of things with their own adviser. Especially if there are children, you remain connected to each other throughout your life because of these children. And then it is nice if their parents still get along reasonably well....

Since the notary has to be called in anyway for the division of the house and/or for the division of the shares in the BV, a notary-mediator specialised in (marital) divorces(VMN) is often chosen. This notary-mediator is absolutely impartial and not only specialised in divorce law, maintenance and pensions, but has also learned to deal with the often intense emotions involved in a divorce. The notary-mediator can also draw up a parenting plan and, in that case, pay attention to the problems that may arise with the children.
The advantage is that any adjustments to the wills can be arranged immediately if desired.

In the first meeting with the mediator, attention is paid to your personal situation and the background of the divorce. An inventory is also made of which matters need to be agreed upon. And if there are things that need to be arranged urgently (e.g. housing, contribution to costs), this can be started immediately.
Once agreements have been made on all issues (housing, spousal support, division of assets, care and contribution to child support, and pension), these will be laid down in a covenant. The notary-mediator will immediately make a notarial deed of this. The advantage of this is that the deed is binding evidence. Also, with a notarial deed, the financial agreements can be enforced directly by a bailiff without the intervention of a judge or lawyer, in case these agreements are not fulfilled.

For more information on divorce with notary-mediator assistance, please contact our VMN notary-mediators Helma Leonhard or Aniel Autar. They will be happy to help you.